Suozzi Outlines Plan To Help Commuters In the Event of a NYC Work Stoppage
Should the trains and buses stop running in the City of New York come tomorrow morning -- a morning that promises to be raw, slushy, wet and downright nasty -- commuters should be prepared.
Nassau County Executive, Tom Suozzi, has put into place a strategic plan to help commuters manage their daily trek, and to reduce delays, congestion, and the utter chaos that could accompany a stoppage of the nation's most-traveled mass transit system.
Click HERE for information on Park & Ride, Car Pool Staging Areas, Long Island Bus Service, and Long Island Railroad Service. Click HERE for a map of Park & Ride locations and Car Pool Staging Areas. [PDF format. Adobe Acrobat required.]
The Town of Hempstead was going to adopt an Emergency Plan as well, but Town Supervisor Kate Murray opted instead to adopt two Dalmations and a little furball that goes by the name of Princess. [SEE Home for the Holidays.] Such is life in the myopic world of Murray and Santino -- or as the Dynastic Duo is known at the Animal Shelter, Mutts & Butts.
Our advice to those who commute into NYC? If there is a strike, the weather dreary, your mood blue, consider taking the day off (it is a Friday, after all), and start fresh on Monday. As we say here at The Community Alliance, "YOU CAN ALWAYS GO SHOPPING!"
Better yet, take in a movie. Today, Mr. MovieBlog reviews that classic fairy tale come to life (or as Mr. Moviefone calls it, The Passion of the Christ for children), The Chronicles of Murraya: The Elephant, The Witch, A La-Z-Boy Recliner and Two Night Tables To Be Named Later.
Admittedly, the central theme, revolving around a little cherub by the name of Kate who finds a magic lamp, wherein resides the all-powerful Genie Joe, who grants her three wishes, is a bit far fetched and played out.
Kate, portrayed brilliantly by the late Shelly Winters (Mama Cass Eliott having turned down the part after the producers refused to cut her in for 12% of the profits) -- who, in her dual role, is nothing short of dynamite as the aging elephant, Alphonse -- asks the Genie to make her sovereign over all she sees. "Oh Genie Joe of the lamp so glorious, wouldst thou grant me the power of patronage, the divine sanctification of the Sanitary Districts, and 25% off of deli platters and baked goods at the Coliseum Deli? That's just one wish, right?"
Robin Williams, reprising his Academy Award nominated role as the master of the lamp in Aladdin, is nothing short of magical as Genie Joe, the enigmatic crumugin whose powers are a bit rusty and wit somewhat dimmed having been bottled up in a specimen jar for the last thousand years.
"Kate, I'll grant your every wish, but first, you'll have to quit running about Town singing, 'I just can't wait to be King!' From this day forward, you shall be known throughout the great plains of Hempstead as 'She Who Must Be Obeyed.'"
"Can I be the all-knowing?"
"You are the all-knowing?"
"Can I be the Czarina?"
"You are the Czarina?"
"Can I be the..."
"Hey, Kate. You can be the eggman and the walrus for all I care. Give it a *&$@! rest, will ya?"
The audience is in stitches -- literally, as they've just returned from the local Emergency Room having fallen into one of the countless potholes for which Town roads are infamous (that $114 million bond only pays Pavco so much for asphalt) -- for most of the movie's 6 1/2 hours, as Kate and Genie Joe trade barbs, insults and tips on being photogenic.
During one hilarious scene, Kate, staring into a mirror adorning the executive washroom at Town Hall, queries Genie Joe, "Genie, Genie, of the lamp, who's the fairest in the Republican camp?"
Genie Joe retorts, with typical sarcasm, "Why, that would be Don Clavin, the most handsome GOPer, if you ask this maven. Hey, did you buy that outfit at Saks? Potatoe or onion? Don't stop me now, I'm on a roll. Actually, I'm on a bagel, with a schmear. Honey, I'm not sayin' you ain't good lookin', but you gotta lay off what the deli is cookin'?"
Cameo appearances by Mickey Rooney as the Imperial Wizard of Ra and James Earl Jones as the irrepressible Dot Goosby cap off an evening of sheer entertainment, sure to delight aficianados of political shtick.
Perhaps the best part of this fantastic journey through the realm of Republican geist is when Kate opens the night table to find a portal to The Land The Town Forgot (formerly known as Elmont). "Hoooome. Hoooome," drones Kate, reminiscent of ET's faint plea. Unable to fit through the portal, Kate angrily summons Genie Joe. "Genie, I wish I could squeeze through the portal, wisked away to a place where everyone lives in basement apartments, gilded in the gold we bought with last year's surplus."
"Madam," snaps Joe, "I'm a genie, not a miracle worker. You want wishes, I'm your guy. You want to wake up in The Land Of Make Believe, you better call The Great Santino. How 'bout an extra $15,000 in you paycheck, instead?"
"Okay," says a smiling Kate. "I'm down with that!"
See, the prospect of a NYC Transit strike, with attendant chaos and portending calamity, isn't so bad after all. Things could always be worse. And they are, in the Wonderful Land of Odd known as Hempstead Town.