Requiem For A Legislature

Nassau County Legislature: 1995 - 2006

Word came late yesterday from the Nassau County Medical Examiner -- the Nassau County Legislature is dead!

Few expected to have to write an obituary so soon for a legislative body barely 11 years old. Full of promise and hope, the Nassau County Legislature -- may it rest in peace -- had its life cut short by acts of hubris, selfishness, and sheer mind-blowing stupidity.

No one would have believed, as we began this year, that, in a month's time, the Legislature would have self-destructed, tearing itself apart under the guise of saving it's own thin skin. Like a flesh-eating bacteria, the agents of diseased political minds entered that somewhat less than robust body, and the fatal attack began.

Roger Corbin's head swells with the fever of myopia, that large sucking sound between the ears drawing in a weak and listless Lisanne Altmann. A shot of Peter Schmitt is injected into the bloodstream and, within moments, the Legislative body convulses.

Attempts to resucitate are made repeatedly, but the brain, apparently deprived of oxygen for far too long, left the body paralyzed, incapable of sustaining itself, let alone a once great and proud County.

On life support, a last ditch effort to revive the failing body was made on Monday -- despite the public's request for a DNR order -- with a formal meeting of the Legislature being called by Judy Jacobs (who, until the last, retained the title, if not the authority, of Presiding Officer).

Alas, the posted meeting time came and went. 8 Democrats showed their faces. The body's 9 Republicans, and the 2 insurgent Democrats, Corbin and Altmann, did not. Without the presence of the Elusive Eleven, no quorum could be called, and the heart of the Nassau County Legislature simply gave out. [SEE Newsday, Nassau At A Standstill.]

Time of death: 2:38 PM

Voters identified the bodies of the legislators, some still grasping at straws, others twisted like the melted steel of the World Trade Center after 9/11. There were no survivors.

Mourners of democratic rule gathered last night at the County Seat in Mineola. A flashlight vigil was to take place, but no one remembered to bring the batteries.

The County Executive, Tom Suozzi, still upstate "listening," was said to be en route for the funeral, planned for later this week at Eisenhower Park. Meanwhile, the legislative body lies, not in state, but in dishonor, in the rotunda of the old County Courthouse in Mineola.

The Nassau County Legislature is dead. Long live the Board of Supervisors!
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A new blog on the block. Click HERE to read Joye Brown's blog at Newsday.