An Illiterate's Guide To Voting In the Town of Hempstead
Ellis Henican, a Newsday columnist who so often brings smiles to our faces here at The Community Alliance, has shown us, once more, that you really can't make this stuff up.
In his latest column, The cost of feeling safe, he writes:
SPELLCHECK, PLEASE: No big deal if Kate Murray wants to drop an "m" from her Team Murray re-election Web address, "teamurray.com." But why drop the second "t" to make it "Levitown" on her Web site's contact page? You'd think the "Hmpstd supvsr" would know.
Okay. They MEANT to leave off that "m" -- and that "t." Its like 1-800-MATTRES. Leave off the last "ass" for tax freeze. [Would that give us frozen ass-heads?]
Can't you see that the Supervisor is trying to save the taxpayers money? Bervity is the soul of wit, after all. And here's kate Murray, half wit.
Stop picking on the Hempstead Town Supervisor, Ellis. That’s OUR job. We've got dibs on the Special Pick On Kate Murray District (Joe Ra, Counsel).
By the way – They must be reading your column at Town Hall [or more likely, having it read to them]. They've now put the second “t” in Levittown on the teamurray.com contact page.
What we want to know: Why is there an asterisk next to Kate Murray’s name on the teamurray.com website? Is this like the asterisk on the Barry Bond baseball that broke Hank Aaron’s homerun record? Is this Kate Murray on steroids? Or are the rest of us on drugs for having voted her into office in the first place?
Maybe we should consider making the casting of a vote for Kate Murray a hate crime. Or is that, hte crm?
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Photo above: "Mom, Dad, can I borrow the car keys?" "Look, Kate, we're 90 years old, living on fixed incomes, being taxed out of this stinkin' Levit(t)own cape, and you're still living in the attic, too lazy to even help rake the lawn. Go borrow Howard Weitzman's car!"