Wednesday, July 20, 2005


A Novel Approach to Dealing with Quality of Life Issues, from Cars to Homeless

The Associated Press reported the ticketing of two NYC men for, of all things, standing under a NO STANDING sign.

Whether there is more to the story – Gay bashing, for instance – will not be the subject of this dissertation. Rather, today’s lesson will be how we, in the Town of Hempstead, could avail ourselves of a unique opportunity to alleviate the burdens of almost every quality of life concern, from too many cars parked on our streets to the plight of the homeless – NO STANDING ANYTIME.

Think about it. A civic group calls a town meeting at a local public school to talk about community concerns. NO STOPPING HERE TO CORNER. Move it right along, folks. You can’t discuss community issues here.

A Sanitary District calls for an election of Commissioners. Just in case anyone other than the initiated (with secret handshake) shows up, a sign at the polling place. NO STANDING ANYTIME. What, you can’t reach the levers from a sitting position? Too bad. Next!

Illegal basement apartments a “scourge” on your community? No problem. A sign adjacent to that outside entrance – NO THROUGH TRAFFIC – is sure to do the trick.

Want to lower Property Taxes? Piece of cake. STEEP DOWNGRADE. That oughta do it. Are the egos of those politicos getting out of hand? Simple. STOP AHEAD.

Of course, sometimes we are the cause of our own undoing. The lament, for example, of a hamlet whose signs proclaim, SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY. Okay, so “slow” children need to play, too. Or how about DIP IN ROAD? Why doesn’t that dip get out of the road so we can get on with things?

Yes, the signs of the times truly make the times. Yet, words alone are sometimes not enough. Consider these road signs and how they could be effectively utilized in our villages and unincorporated areas (gratuitous suggestions are captioned):



And last but by no means least …

Kate Murray, Supervisor

And now, we at The Community Alliance await the next sign. Perhaps a comment from a loyal reader. YIELD to those voices in your head. Or, better yet, just STOP!

1 comment:

  1. How many Town of Hempstead employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Eighteen. One to screw it in, 17 to produce and mail a four-color glossy flyer about it!