The Dynamic Duo Of Oceanside

Murray, Santino Reveal Themselves As Town's Superheroes;
Villians, Scoundrels And Owners of 'No-Tell Motels' Beware

The Oceanside Motel -- purveyor of crime, smut, and sordid evil-doing for more than 20 years -- is no more. Condemned by the Town of Hempstead, the wrecker's ball came crashing down on the Oceanside on Monday, with Town Supervisor Kate Murray and Town Councilman Tony Santino on hand in gleeful celebration.

Of course, we at The Community Alliance predicted that the Oceanside Motel would fall just days before the election, masking the question that Town officials sidestepped for decades -- "What in tarnation took you guys so long?"

The demise of the Oceanside Motel was long overdue. Those who reside within earshot and eyeball have been calling for its closure for nearly a generation; their pleas, until now, falling upon deaf ears at Hempstead Town Hall.

Yes, elections have come and elections have gone, but none have been contested as is this election for TOH Supervisor. Never has the challenge been so real, the race so close, the confrontation so in the face of a party hanging on by its dirty fingernails to the last outpost under its unfettered control.

And so enter America's largest township's answer (who asked the question, we'll never know) to Batman & Robin; the Lone Ranger and Tonto (or is it Silver? No, he's the Assembly Speaker) reincarnate. "Look. Up in the sky. Its a bird. Its a plane. Its... Never mind. Its a bird..." The not ambiguously gay, but exceptionally giddy, larger-than-life wunderkinds -- the Town of Hempstead's own Krypton Kate and Titanium Tony.

"There's no need to fear. Murray and Santino are here!" And so it is written, at least in the Town's modest press release, that "Murray & Santino Demolish (the) Oceanside Motel" -- personally removing each brick!

Indeed, the opening line of the Town's release tells all: "Hempstead Town Supervisor Kate Murray and Senior Councilman Anthony Santino today knocked down the Oceanside Motel's sign and tore down its walls."

They huffed and they puffed. They bent steel in their bare hands. They used their x-ray vision to peer behind motel room doors. They conjured up the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man, who devoured the motel in a single bite.

Kate "The Mailinator" Murray -- able to rezone tall buildings in a single variance -- teams up with Tony "You'll Enjoy Paying More" Santino -- faster than a fleeting Sanitary District 1 Commissioner -- to wipe out crime, to freeze Town taxes (except in the Special Districts and where otherwise prohibited either by law or whim), and to pave the way for, well, the paving of a Town parking lot.

Today, the Oceanside Motel. Tomorrow -- or the day after that -- West Hempstead's Courtesy. No dastardly deed shall escape the keen detection of Murray & Santino, whose very names set quivering the souls of evil-doers and no-goodniks everywhere (except in the Special Districts and where otherwise prohibited either by law or whim).

No, not since Courageous Cat & Minute Mouse set out to scour the streets of Empire City, hot on the trail of the likes of Rodney Rodent, Shoo Shoo Fly, Professor Shaggy Dog, The Black Cat, Harry Gorilla, Iron Shark, Professor Noodle Stroodle and The Frog, a cigar-chomping amphibian who spoke in the gangster style of Edward G. Robinson, has Code enforcement meant so much to a community. "You've got nutin' on me, Courageous. Yeah. That's it. See. Nutin.'"

Kourageous Kate & Mini Murray. "Yeah, that's the ticket, see..." Hempstead Town is now safe for Demagoguery.

Motels crumble and fall -- eventually. Ordinances are enforced -- when we feel like it. The will of the people reigns supreme -- when we just might lose the election if we don't do something, and fast!

Why, even McGarrett and Dan-o, of Hawaii Five-O fame, didn't take this long to track down and capture the notorius Wo-Fat!

We applaud the closure and demolition of the Oceanside Motel, from which harrowing habitat, since the late 1960s, assaults have been committed upon the Oceanside community. Yet, we somehow have to pause to ask ourselves -- considering the assaults, rapes and murders that took place within the motel's walls during those many intervening years [including the 1988 slaying of an Elmont woman, beaten to death by a man after they smoked cocaine inside the motel, whose decomposing body was found hidden beneath a platform bed in her room.*] -- "Why did it take the elected officials of the Town of Hempstead so damn long [nearly 20 years since that heinous murder of 1988] to so much as react to a community's desperate cries for help?"

"Today is the beginning of a new and promising future for families in this neighborhood and throughout Oceanside," concludes Supervisor Murray in the Town's press release. "Today," by all reason, should have been 20 years ago. "Today" came too late for that slain Elmont woman, and too late for the glut of nameless victims of the Oceanside's "reign of terror." These are the injustices that cannot be covered over by brick pavers or illuminated by Victorian street lamps. These are the deep-rooted ineptitudes that cannot be erased from memory by self-proclaimed superheroes, who only now, after the dust has settled, ride into town to save the day.
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*As reported in Newsday, Cheers As Motel Is Demolished, November 1, 2005.