Friday, September 07, 2007

Community: Fall Preview Issue

Town Of Hempstead Fall Line Up Is "Must Flee TV"

Its that time of year again. The new TV shows about to hit the air, much like Town of Hempstead Senior Councilman Tony Santino doing a belly flop into the Oceanside Park pool.

Sure to be a hit with local residents, who have borne witness to the de-evolution back to the days when Neanderthals roamed Town Hall (wait, they still do), is a take-off on those hilarious GEICO ads, stone age style -- Cavemen.

The pitch: Cavemen live today, and rule the, er, cave, at 1 Washington Street in Hempstead. Look out for that boulder, Fred Flintstone (or is it Joe Mondello?). Kate Murray and her cadre of prehistoric clansmen/committeemen, lumber into town, trying to make it among 21st century homosapiens. [Not that there's anything wrong with that!]

Also on tap in prime time, Reaper, the story of a videogame-playing slacker (a/k/a Town of Hempstead employee of the month) who discovers that his soul has been sold to the devil (played, most convincingly, by none other than Town Supervisor Kate Murray herself -- wearing that famous red blazer, of course).

His task: Return escaped souls (read as, residents attempting to get the hell out of Hempstead Town) to the stifling confines of Town Hall. Katarina D'Amato co-stars.

Then, there are the remakes, sure to conjure up that nostalgia for yesteryear.

The Wonder Years. Plot: Elmont residents, well into the 40th season of talking about the revitalization of Hempstead Turnpike (the longest running series on MTV -- Murray TV, that is), wonder when the old Argo will become a supermarket, and folks in West Hempstead, where blight has apparently become a way of life, taking up permanent residence in the Courtesy Hotel, wonder what they have to do to get the Town clowns to listen, to understand, to act.

And, of course, there are the old familiar stand ins. Lost, for instance -- which, in Hempstead Town, requires neither introduction nor explanation -- and Survivor, Town of Hempstead. Ditto.

There's a new Bionic Woman in town. Dorothy Goosby, perhaps? And Kelsey Grammer returns to the small screen in Back To You, what the Town of Hempstead should have done with the public's tax money when they boasted of a $50 million dollar surplus. [Just where does all that money go?]

Yes, its going to be Pushing Daisies in Hempstead Town, where the elected look to resurrect buried plans and long-dead ideas, only to kill everything they touch.

Move over, CSI and Law & Order, you've finally met your match!

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