"I'm The Lord, And I Approve This Message"

When Candidates Converse With The Almighty

"God is the reason I'm running." So said Christine "I'm not a witch" O'Donnell, GOP candidate for Senate in the State of Delaware.

Not only that, but, according to O'Donnell, in an interview with Christian Broadcasting Network, "God has called me to win." [She also admitted to not watching the news, an homage, perhaps, to Sarah Palin fumbling and failing to think of a single newspaper or magazine she had read.]

So, its not only the ballplayer, eyes toward the heavens, who looks to God for that crucial hit. [We suppose the Yankees simply didn't offer enough in prayer. Damn it!]

And we recall another politico of the not so distant past who, like O'Donnell, said that God had tapped him to run for office. Now who was that again? Oh yeah. George W. Bush. [What was God thinking?]

Since when did the Almighty become so political, let alone so partisan? And how is it that, on the whole, he only speaks to, calls upon, and offers the endorsement of far-right wing Republicans, who poo poo evolution, oppose masturbation, and can't find a separation between church and state in the Constitution -- not necessarily in that order.

Whatever happened to the days when God called upon folks like Noah, to build arks, and Moses, to deliver the Ten Commandments? No, today, the Almighty talks to nitwit politicians and psychopathic serial killers.

Add in the Sean Hannitys and the Glenn Becks, to whom God apparently speaks regularly, having decreed, "Go forth and masquerade as journalists," and you've given new meaning to the expression, "God works in mysterious ways."

One wonders why God has chosen to speak with and call upon the likes of a Christine O'Donnell, channeling His wisdom and energies through so empty a vessel. What with Nobel Prize winners and MENSA members, one would think a more appropriate medium -- and, surely, a more worthy cause -- would be in the offing.

Perhaps, given the Lord's involvement in recent campaigns, and the invocation of His name (as such may enure to the benefit of the candidate, religion clearly being the opiate of a certain segment of the electoral masses), we need to create yet another political party. Call it the, "My Rent Is Too God-Damn High" party.

Says O'Donnell (that's the new Chirstine, Senate hopeful, not the old Christine, Wiccan), "Please pray for the campaign; please pray for our staff; please pray specifically that the eyes of the voters be opened."

"Pray...that the eyes of the voters be opened." Amen to that!